Introduction
Supporting children and teenagers after a parent’s suicide is one of the most difficult challenges families can face. Young people often experience grief in unique ways, and without proper guidance, the trauma can impact their emotional, social, and mental well-being for years to come. This guide explores how children and teens process grief, how to talk to them about suicide, and practical strategies to help them heal and rebuild hope.
Understanding the Impact of Suicide on Children and Teens
The loss of a parent is life changing. When the cause is suicide, the shock, confusion, and unanswered questions can feel overwhelming for children and teens.
Emotional responses children may show
Children may express grief through fear, confusion, sadness, or anger. Some may regress in their behaviour – for example, bedwetting, clinginess, or tantrums – while others may become unusually quiet or withdrawn. Because children often don’t fully understand the concept of death, a parent’s suicide can be especially confusing and frightening. They may not have the words to explain what they feel, so their behaviour becomes their language. Paying attention to these changes helps us understand the emotions they cannot yet express verbally.
How teenagers process grief differently
Teenagers typically have a better understanding of suicide but may struggle with complex emotions such as guilt, shame, or resentment. Many teens fear judgement from peers and withdraw socially. Others may channel their emotions into risky behaviors as a coping mechanism.
During adolescence, the emotional part of the brain – the limbic system – develops much faster than the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logic, impulse control, and long-term thinking. This means that teenagers often feel first and think later. Their emotions can rise and fall suddenly, and grief can intensify these swings. When a parent dies, the teenage brain can feel flooded with emotions it doesn’t yet have the tools to manage. Understanding this can help you stay patient and grounded, knowing that your teen isn’t being difficult – their brain is still wiring itself for emotional regulation. Your calm, steady presence helps provide the external regulation they can’t yet fully access internally.
Long-term effects if support is lacking
Without adequate support, children and teens are at risk of depression, anxiety, difficulties in school, or even suicidal thoughts later in life. Early, compassionate intervention can make the difference between lifelong struggles and healthy emotional recovery.
How to Talk About Suicide with Children and Adolescents
Open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations are essential for helping young people make sense of what has happened. It is never too late to talk about what happened – if you told them one thing initially you can go back at any point and explain it again in a more age-appropriate way – for example: “I know I once told you that Dad died from an accident because I wasn’t sure how to talk to you about what really happened. Now you are older and you have been coping so well, I want to talk to you more about why Dad died.”
Choosing the right words for their age
For younger children, keep explanations simple and concrete – for example: “Mum died because her brain was very sick.” Avoid euphemisms like “went to sleep” or “gone away,” as these can create confusion or fear. For adolescents, use more direct language, offering space for questions and emotional reactions. You don’t need to share graphic details – focus instead on helping them understand that suicide is the result of intense pain or illness, not a choice made lightly.
Being honest without overwhelming them
Avoid hiding the truth or creating alternative stories. The internet exists and children and teenagers know how to find out information they are not sure about. Children and teens deserve honesty and it is always best coming from you, but the way we communicate matters just as much as what we say. Speak gently, answer questions at their pace, and check in often to see what they’ve understood. Honesty fosters trust, strengthens your connection, and helps prevent confusion or mistrust later on.
Addressing guilt, blame, and misconceptions
It’s very common for children and teenagers to believe they could have somehow prevented their parent’s death. Gently and repeatedly reassure them: “This was not your fault.” Encourage them to share any thoughts or worries they might be holding inside, even if they seem illogical or painful. Correct misconceptions with kindness, explaining that their parent’s death was caused by a serious illness of the mind – not by anything they did, said, or failed to do. Hearing this often, in different ways, helps the truth begin to take root.
Practical Ways to Support Children and Teens Through Grief
Healing takes time, patience, and a supportive environment. Families and caregivers can play a vital role.
For parents seeking deeper guidance on how to support their children through suicide loss, consider enrolling in the Reclaim Parenting Course. It offers practical tools and compassionate strategies to help families heal together.
Creating a safe space for emotions
Encourage children and teens to share feelings without judgement. Let them know it is okay to cry, be angry, or feel confused. Sometimes art, journaling, or play therapy can help them express emotions. If they seem to be having a strong emotion, try giving them words for how they feel: “it seems that you are really angry right now – what can I do to help?”
As parents, we often try to fix our children’s feelings when, in truth, what they need most is our presence. By simply being there and helping them co-regulate in their own time, we teach them that emotions can be felt and released safely. Remember, feelings are transient – research shows they typically move through the body in about 90 seconds. Trusting this can help you stay with your child’s emotions, regulate your own nervous system, and know that your calm presence is enough.
The role of family, friends, and school
Support networks matter. Extended family and close friends can provide extra care, while schools can offer counselling services or make academic adjustments. Keep communication open with teachers so they understand the child’s needs.
Encouraging healthy coping mechanisms
Healthy outlets such as sports, music, art, journaling, or spending time with trusted friends can help children and teenagers process their emotions in constructive ways. Encourage activities that allow expression and connection rather than avoidance. At the same time, gently keep an eye on unhelpful coping behaviours, such as withdrawal, excessive screen time, or substance use. Grieving young people need balance – space to feel, move, and express, while staying connected to safe people and routines that support healing..
When and How to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes grief goes beyond what families can manage alone. If your child or teenager’s sadness seems to deepen over time, it’s important to seek professional support. You don’t need to wait for a crisis – early help can make a big difference.
Signs that a child or teen needs therapy
Seek professional help if your child:
- Withdraws completely from family and friends.
- Shows sudden academic decline.
- Expresses hopelessness or self-harming thoughts.
- Engages in risky or destructive behaviour.
Different types of grief counselling available
Therapy options may include:
- Individual counselling with a grief specialist.
- Group therapy with peers experiencing similar losses.
- Family counseling to strengthen relationships after the loss.
Community and crisis support resources
Organisations and local groups can provide 24/7 crisis lines, community programs, and online forums. Explore Suicide Grief Support for additional tools or listen to the Suicide Grief Support Podcast for guidance from professionals and families who have walked this path.
Helping Children and Teens Rebuild Hope and Resilience
Recovery is not just about surviving grief-it is about building resilience and creating a hopeful future.
Establishing routines and stability
Consistency helps children feel safe. Maintain regular schedules for meals, school, and bedtime. Stability provides comfort when emotions feel unpredictable.
Encouraging positive memories of the parent
Talk about the parents in loving, positive ways. Create a memory box, photo album, or write letters to keep their legacy alive. Remembering the good times can reduce fear and guilt.
Teaching resilience and emotional strength
Resilience is learned. Encourage problem-solving, celebrate small milestones, and model healthy coping yourself. Remind children that while life has changed, they can still find joy, meaning, and purpose.
Resources and Support Networks for Families
No family has to navigate suicide grief alone.
National and local support groups
Many organizations host in-person and online support groups tailored for children, teens, and families. These groups provide shared understanding and reduce the sense of isolation.
Online resources for parents and caregivers
Websites like Suicide Grief Support offer tools, articles, and podcasts specifically for families coping with suicide loss.
Books and tools to help children understand grief
Books written for children, such as illustrated grief guides, can explain death and healing in age-appropriate ways. Caregivers can read with children to spark conversations so read them with alongside you. The Fred Roger’s Institute has a good reading list of helpful books for children in grief.
Final Thoughts: Walking the Journey Together
Supporting children and teenagers after a parent’s suicide is a long journey filled with both pain and healing. While there is no single “right” way to grieve, love, patience, and open communication can help young people process their loss in healthy ways. Families should not hesitate to seek professional guidance when needed.
If you or someone you know is coping with this type of loss, explore Suicide Grief Support’s resources or contact us for help. With compassion, support, and resilience, children and teenagers can move forward with hope, honoring their parent’s memory while building a brighter future.