The festive season is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, yet for many who have experienced the loss of someone to suicide, it can feel anything but joyful. The pressure to celebrate, the constant reminders of togetherness, and the absence of someone deeply loved can make this time of year incredibly heavy. If you find yourself feeling detached, exhausted, or out of sync with the celebrations around you, know that these feelings are valid and understandable.
Understanding the Body and Mind in Grief
Research shows that grief, particularly after suicide loss, is not just emotional but physiological. The nervous system responds to trauma and loss by shifting into states of protection. According to Polyvagal Theory, our bodies adapt by either moving into fight, flight, or shutdown to keep us safe. This means you might feel anxious, restless, or disconnected from others. These are not signs of weakness but normal adaptive responses.
The good news is that with the right support, the nervous system can heal. Approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and somatic regulation practices help integrate the trauma of loss, allowing the body to gradually return to safety. In these states of calm and regulation, connection and meaning become possible again.
Finding Healing Through Connection
While any kind of support can be valuable, research shows that connecting with other suicide loss survivors is especially powerful. There is something uniquely healing about being among people who understand the depth and complexity of this kind of grief. In these spaces, words are not always necessary because shared experience fosters safety, empathy, and understanding that is hard to find elsewhere.
At Suicide Grief Support, our workshops and community gatherings are intentionally designed to create that sense of belonging. They combine trauma-informed principles with compassion, helping survivors reconnect with themselves and others at a pace that feels right.
Practising Self-Compassion
During the holidays, try to let go of the expectation to “be okay.” Instead, focus on moments of gentle care. Research suggests that even small acts of self-compassion, like resting when tired, spending time in nature, or engaging in mindful breathing, can support nervous system regulation. You might notice that the smallest gestures of kindness toward yourself begin to bring warmth and balance back into your days.
You Are Not Alone
If this season feels overwhelming, remember that you do not have to face it alone. Healing after suicide loss takes time, patience, and the right kind of connection. Surrounding yourself with others who truly understand can bring light into even the darkest months.
To learn more about how you can connect with other suicide loss survivors and find trauma-informed support, visit Suicide Grief Support. Together, healing is possible.