A small August check-in
National Wellness Month always lands with a certain honesty, doesn’t it? The school holidays, the strange stretch of light in the evenings, and that quiet sense that summer is already packing its bags.
This morning, I noticed my own mind doing what minds do. Kettle on, phone in hand, and a little flicker of dread about the day ahead. Nothing dramatic. Just that familiar tightening in the chest that says, hello, stress.
If you are living with suicide loss or supporting someone who is, you might know this feeling in a deeper way. Your nervous system can get stuck on high alert, and your thoughts can start running “helpful” commentaries that are anything but.
What your brain is really up to
I often tell people, gently, that your brain is not trying to ruin your day. It is trying to protect you. After a painful shock, the mind scans for risk, tries to predict what might go wrong, and replays what it wishes it could change. That can look like planning, or problem-solving, or being “realistic”. But it can also become a loop.
When negative thinking turns up, I like to start with a small shift: from believing the thought to noticing the thought. A tiny change, but it creates space. You might even say, in your head, “There’s that story again.” Not to judge it. Just to spot it.
And yes, it feels odd at first.
Training the brain, without forcing it
I am a psychologist and EMDR practitioner, and in my work with Suicide Grief Support CIC, I have learned that people do better with kindness than with pressure. So here are a few ideas I come back to myself.
Try anchoring to the body before you argue with the mind. Put both feet on the floor and press your toes down inside your socks. Let your eyes find something steady in the room: a mug, a curtain, a patch of sky. Give your system a cue that, in this moment, you are safe enough.
Then, make your next action small. Not a total life overhaul. More like, “I will drink a glass of water,” or “I will step outside for thirty seconds and feel the air.” Stress loves big, impossible plans. The nervous system likes doable.
If sleep is messy, keep your expectations low and your routine gentle. A dim lamp. A familiar book. The same song. Repetition can be soothing, especially when emotions are changeable.
And if you can, borrow a bit of calm from someone else. A text that says, “Thinking of you.” A quiet cup of tea with a friend. Connection counts as self-care, even if you hardly talk.
A soft invitation for the month ahead
If you would like psychologically informed support that meets you where you are, you can find ways to connect and see what feels right for you.