A personal note
I do not see this month as a campaign to make big statements. I see it as a chance to tell the truth, honestly. In my own life, my brother took his own life in 2015, and that changed everything I thought I understood about grief, safety and the ways pain can hide. Even as a psychologist, I found myself shocked by how much guilt and confusion I carried, while still trying to hold everything together for everyone else. That experience now shapes the way I work at Suicide Grief Support, where the focus is trauma informed healing, nervous system regulation and compassionate care after suicide loss.
What I have learned from men
When I work with men, I often notice that distress does not arrive in the way people expect. It is rarely a man saying, “I feel emotional and need to talk.” More often, it sounds like exhaustion, irritability, poor sleep, drinking more than usual, snapping at the people they love, or feeling oddly flat and disconnected. Some men look completely fine from the outside because they are still turning up, working, laughing and carrying on. That is exactly why these conversations matter. Struggling does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks polished, busy and a little too controlled.
What I would say to any man who is carrying too much
Please do not wait until your words feel perfect. Start smaller than that. Tell one person, in plain language, that things are not right. Use a sentence you can actually say out loud, such as, “I am not myself and I need some support.” Put your phone down for ten minutes and notice what is happening in your body. Tight jaw, heavy chest, restless legs, constant scrolling, and the urge to disappear into work can all be signals that your system is overloaded. If alcohol is becoming the first thing you reach for, pause and make the next choice slower. Have water first. Eat something. Send the message before the drink. These are not big gestures, but they can create a small gap between the feeling and the action, and that gap matters.
A final thought
If this month brings anything into focus, I hope it is this. A man can look steady and still be carrying far more than anyone realises. Please check in, speak plainly, and do not underestimate the power of one honest conversation. For more support, gentle resources and specialist guidance after suicide loss, visit Suicide Grief Support.